And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I don't deserve a penis
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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