I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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