Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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