that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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