tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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