i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
