I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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