why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
