We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
