Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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