it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
