I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
