he wants to bone in the snuggie
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
