Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
