Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
