I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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