Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
