Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
