totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
