Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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