that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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