We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
