Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
