would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
