4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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