So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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