Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
