let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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