I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
