I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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