dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
