we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize