Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
