let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
