I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
