please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My bed smells like the plague
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