It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
