Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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