I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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