yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
