therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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