Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
