Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
