Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
