I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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