WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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