Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
