Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
