Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
