paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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