i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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